You’ve Been Served: Understanding the Divorce Process in New Jersey & New York
You never thought this would happen. One moment, life feels predictable and the next, you’re holding a stack of legal papers that say “Summons and Complaint for Divorce.”
It’s one of the most disorienting moments a person can face. But here’s the truth: you still have control, control over your reaction, your next steps, and ultimately, your future.
At Ziegler Law Group LLC, we’ve guided thousands of clients through this exact moment. Whether you were expecting it or not, what you do in the next few days will define how your divorce unfolds legally, financially, and emotionally.
Phase 1: Understanding What Those Papers Mean
When you receive divorce papers (often called a Summons and Complaint), it means your spouse has officially filed for divorce and initiated the legal process.
The paperwork outlines:
- The grounds for divorce (the legal reason your spouse is filing).
- What your spouse is requesting (such as custody, support, or property division).
- The deadline for your response (usually 20–35 days depending on the state).
This isn’t the time to panic or retaliate it’s the time to strategize.
Your response sets the tone for the entire case.
Phase 2: Your First Steps After Being Served
Here’s what to do immediately:
- Stay calm and read carefully: Don’t react emotionally or confront your spouse.
- Contact a divorce attorney right away: The clock is ticking for your formal response.
- Do not sign or agree to anything: until your lawyer reviews it.
- Gather essential documents: (tax returns, pay stubs, account statements, property titles).
- Avoid discussing details on social media: every word can become evidence.
At Ziegler Law Group, our attorneys review your paperwork line by line, explain your rights, and begin building a defense strategy tailored to your circumstances.
Phase 3: Responding to the Divorce Petition
You have the legal right to respond and you must do so within the deadline.
Failing to respond can result in a default judgment, meaning your spouse could win by default, gaining custody, assets, or support terms without your input.
Your Response or Answer will:
- Admit or deny each allegation made in the complaint.
- Assert your own requests (for custody, support, or division of property).
- Include any counterclaims if you wish to raise your own grounds for divorce.
Our attorneys ensure your response is strategic and assertive not reactive.
This is where your voice enters the legal record, and it’s where your protection begins.
Phase 4: Financial Disclosure and Discovery
Divorce is about fairness, and fairness requires transparency.
Both parties must exchange full financial information to ensure equitable division.
This stage, called discovery, involves:
- Filing Case Information Statements (CIS) or Statements of Net Worth.
- Producing tax returns, pay records, and bank statements.
- Disclosing business, real estate, and investment interests.
- Requesting documents or depositions from the other spouse.
Ziegler Law Group’s financial and forensic experts specialize in uncovering hidden income, assets, and digital holdings (including cryptocurrency), ensuring a complete and accurate picture of the marital estate.
Phase 5: Custody, Support, and Settlement Negotiations
Once both sides understand the financial and family landscape, negotiations begin.
The focus shifts to resolving:
- Child custody and visitation (who the child lives with and parenting schedules).
- Child support (ensuring both parents contribute fairly).
- Alimony or spousal support.
- Equitable distribution of property and debts.
Many cases resolve through settlement conferences or mediation, allowing privacy and flexibility outside of court.
When an agreement is reached, it’s written into a Marital Settlement Agreement (MSA) a binding contract that defines your post-divorce life.
If no agreement is possible, the case proceeds to trial, where a judge makes the final decisions.
Phase 6: Final Judgment and Moving Forward
Once all issues are resolved through settlement or trial the court issues a Final Judgment of Divorce.
This document finalizes your divorce and outlines:
- Custody and visitation arrangements.
- Support payments (child or alimony).
- Property and debt division.
- Any post-divorce obligations.
It’s both an ending and a beginning.
Our firm ensures your final order is clear, enforceable, and aligned with your rights because what’s written today affects your tomorrow.
What If You Didn’t See It Coming?
Many clients tell us, “I didn’t even know there were problems.”
It’s okay shock is part of the process.
If you were blindsided by divorce papers:
- Do not ignore them. Failing to act only gives your spouse more power.
- Avoid impulsive communication. Every email or text can be used in court.
- Protect your finances. Monitor shared accounts and credit lines.
- Prioritize emotional support. Therapy, friends, and structure help stabilize you.
Being served doesn’t mean you’ve lost control it means it’s time to reclaim it with knowledge and representation.
Common Mistakes People Make After Being Served
Avoid these costly errors:
- Ignoring the papers out of fear or denial.
- Signing documents without legal review.
- Emptying bank accounts or hiding money.
- Posting about the divorce online.
- Confronting or threatening your spouse.
- Assuming you’ll “figure it out later.”
Every one of these mistakes can damage your credibility and your case.
Our attorneys act quickly to preserve your rights, secure evidence, and establish a path toward fair resolution.
How Ziegler Law Group Protects You
From the moment you receive divorce papers, you’re not alone.
We take immediate action to ensure your position is strong from day one.
Our process includes:
- Initial Review – analyzing your summons and complaint for legal exposure.
- Customized Response – crafting a strategic reply that protects your interests.
- Evidence Preparation – gathering documents and records before deadlines.
- Negotiation & Mediation – seeking efficient, private settlements when possible.
- Courtroom Representation – defending your rights if litigation is necessary.
With over 100 years of combined family law experience, our attorneys represent clients across New Jersey and New York, helping them turn shock into strategy.
Because being served doesn’t end your story it begins your comeback.
Frequently Asked Questions
What should I do first after receiving divorce papers?
Contact a divorce attorney immediately. You typically have 20–35 days to respond depending on the state.
Can I ignore the papers if I disagree with what they say?
No. Ignoring them allows your spouse to obtain a default judgment, which can severely limit your rights.
Do I have to leave my home once served?
Not necessarily. You have the right to remain unless a restraining order or exclusive possession order is issued.
How long does the divorce process take?
In New Jersey and New York, it can take several months to over a year depending on complexity, cooperation, and court schedules.
Can I stop the divorce once it’s filed?
Generally no, unless your spouse withdraws the petition. However, you can control how fair and respectful the process becomes.
Receiving divorce papers may have been a shock but how you respond defines your future.
Let our team trusted by judges, respected by peers, and chosen by professionals represent you.
Schedule a confidential consultation with a family law attorney in New Jersey or New York today.
Call us at: 973-533-1100
New Jersey Office: 651 W. Mt Pleasant Ave, Suite 150, Livingston, NJ 07039
New York Offices: 3 Columbus Circle, 15th Floor, New York, NY 10019 | 107 North Main Street, New City, New York 10956
