Vacations can be emotionally complicated for families going through divorce. While travel is often meant to be a break from stress, it can introduce new tension when parents disagree about communication, boundaries, and access to the children. Questions about FaceTime, phone calls, and messaging during trips are among the most common sources of conflict between co-parents.
Clear expectations around communication during vacations protect children from feeling caught in the middle and prevent disputes that can overshadow what should be restorative time.
Why Communication During Vacations Becomes a Point of Conflict
Fear of losing connection
The parent not traveling with the children may fear being excluded from their lives during extended trips.
Disruption of routine
Vacations naturally change schedules, which can heighten anxiety for both parents and children.
Unclear boundaries
Without clear guidelines, one parent may expect constant contact while the other seeks uninterrupted vacation time.
What Children Need During Vacation Transitions
Emotional reassurance
Children benefit from knowing they can connect with the other parent without feeling pressure or guilt.
Freedom to enjoy the experience
Excessive communication can interrupt bonding time and create emotional stress.
Age-appropriate communication
Communication frequency should reflect the child’s age and emotional maturity.
When FaceTime and Calls Are Helpful
Maintaining emotional continuity
Brief, predictable check-ins can help children feel secure.
Reducing separation anxiety
Regular but limited communication often reassures children without overwhelming them.
Supporting younger children
Younger children may need more frequent reassurance, especially during longer trips.
When Too Much Communication Creates Problems
Interrupting routines and activities
Frequent calls may disrupt sleep schedules, meals, or planned activities.
Creating loyalty conflicts
Children may feel torn between enjoying the trip and staying emotionally connected to the other parent.
Using communication as control
Excessive or intrusive contact may reflect control issues, similar to patterns discussed in controlling behaviors in a relationship.
Setting Clear Expectations Around Vacation Communication
Including communication guidelines in parenting plans
Clear guidelines reduce misunderstandings and conflict, much like the structure recommended in how to prepare a holiday parenting plan.
Balancing access and autonomy
Both parents’ roles matter, but so does the child’s ability to enjoy uninterrupted time.
Respecting reasonable boundaries
Boundaries protect children from adult conflict.
When Legal Guidance May Be Necessary
Repeated disputes over communication
Ongoing disagreements may signal the need for formal clarification.
Concerns about manipulation or monitoring
Using FaceTime or calls to monitor, interrogate, or manipulate may require legal intervention.
Protecting the child’s emotional wellbeing
Legal guidance can help ensure communication supports—not harms—the child.
If disagreements about communication during vacations are creating conflict in your co-parenting relationship, you do not have to resolve them alone. At Ziegler Law Group LLC, we help parents establish clear, child-focused communication guidelines that reduce conflict and promote stability.
Schedule a confidential consultation with a family law attorney in New Jersey or New York today.
Call us at: 973-533-1100
New Jersey Office: 651 W. Mt Pleasant Ave, Suite 150, Livingston, NJ 07039
New York Offices: 3 Columbus Circle, 15th Floor, New York, NY 10019 | 107 North Main Street, New City, New York 10956
FAQs
1. Is FaceTime required during a vacation?
Not always. Communication expectations should be outlined in the parenting plan or agreed upon by both parents.
2. How often should children FaceTime the other parent while traveling?
Frequency depends on the child’s age, comfort level, and the length of the trip.
3. Can a parent refuse FaceTime during a vacation?
If the parenting agreement includes communication provisions, refusal may be a violation. Otherwise, reasonableness applies.
4. What if FaceTime calls disrupt the child’s vacation?
Parents should adjust communication to prioritize the child’s emotional wellbeing.
5. Can FaceTime be used to monitor the other parent?
No. Using communication to interrogate or control may raise legal concerns.
6. When should I seek legal help regarding vacation communication disputes?
If conflicts are frequent or affect the child’s wellbeing, legal guidance may help clarify expectations.
