Abuse comes in many forms, ranging from physical to psychological harm that is inflicted all at once or over time. Recently, a form of manipulation has come to light that is known as “coercive control.” The impacts of this form of abuse are far-reaching, influencing the actions of the abused for days, months, or years. Even when victims break free from the abuse, the damage may linger, and they may struggle with life. As such, the first thing to know is that anyone who has suffered from coercive control will need support.
Now, let us look further into how coercive control affects the victims and survivors.
Key Takeaways
- Coercive control is a form of subtle, non-physical abuse involving belittling, manipulation, and humiliation that destabilizes victims.
- Victims may wrongly blame themselves for relationship issues due to gaslighting and manipulation.
- Abusers often undermine victims’ interests, control their activities, and use threats to maintain dependence.
- Coercive control breaks down personal boundaries, forcing victims into unwanted actions through manipulation and threats.
- Survivors may face lasting trauma, anxiety, depression, sleep disorders, self-harm, eating disorders, and a negative self-image.
What is Coercive Control?
Belittling, name-calling, manipulation, and humiliation—that is coercive control. The fact is that coercive control is insidious, more like a slow drip of poison than the blunt impact of a fist. Coercive control is non-physical, but the impacts of it can be as scary as any physical injury. Slowly, the victims are destabilized and demoralized, until they have no choice but to rely on their abuser for help.
Signs of Coercive Control in the Victim
Let us take a look at how victims are impacted by this pernicious form of abuse, both during and after. These signs can help individuals identify coercive control, either in their own relationships or when examining others.
The Victim Wonders Why Nothing Can Be Fixed
Too often, the victim has been made to believe that he or she is what is wrong in the relationship. When asked, the victims may not be able to pinpoint the reason why they are failing their partners, but they will be certain that they are at fault.
This line of thinking is due to the psychological tactics used by the abuser. Gaslighting can make people think they are going crazy when they have heard it enough. Additionally, comments that demean or belittle victims can whittle away at their self-confidence.
In the end, the victims may even seek therapy to find out what is going on with them. Sometimes, this therapy visit leads victims to discover that they are in an abusive relationship.
Personal and Professional Interests Go By The Wayside
Multiple tactics are used to drive victims away from their goals and interests. For example, if the victim likes baking, the abuser may demean the victim and call the hobby distasteful, make fun of his or her weight (regardless of the victim’s appearance), and pinpoint other weaknesses to get the victim to stop doing what is enjoyable. Another example would be the abuser controlling how often the partner goes to the gym or demanding that they only workout together.
There have been scenarios of abusers threatening self-harm and other behaviors if their victims continue doing something, such as going to work or meeting up with friends. Threats of withholding money or denying access to something, such as the car or healthcare, can also come into play. All of this is to drive the victim away from independence, putting the victim into a corner that forces him or her to merely act in favor of the abuser.
When this happens, the abuser may also love-bomb the victim, showering him or her with praise and gifts. This cycle of abuse and love-bombing is similar to physical abuse and causes the victim to seek out such periods of positive interactions, thus deepening reliance on the abusive partner.
The Victims Put Themselves in Situations to Please Their Abusers
Often, coercive control leads to boundaries being breached and then broken down, never to be reconstructed. The victim will be forced to let the abuser break a boundary through various forms of manipulation and control, including gaslighting, name-calling, and other tactics. One example would be performing an act in the bedroom that the victim had never wanted to do or had no interest in. The abuser may berate the victim, call the victim terrible things, or even threaten to do something, such as turn a loved one against the victim, to have the act performed.
How Does Coercive Control Impact the Abused After the Relationship?
Long after the abused is separated from the abuser, its impact will still echo. Victims will experience distress and fear, even during the process of liberating themselves from their abuser. Other impacts include:
- Personality impacts and behavior changes due to trauma
- Anxiety and depression
- Insomnia and other sleep disorders
- Disordered eating
- Self-harm
- Negative self-image and self-efficacy
Contact a Domestic Violence Lawyer Today to Learn More
Coercive control, though often less visible than physical abuse, can have profound and lasting effects on victims. Its subtle and persistent nature makes it a particularly insidious form of abuse that can undermine a person’s self-esteem, independence, and overall well-being. The impact of coercive control can persist long after the relationship ends, affecting personal goals, mental health, and future relationships.
If you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of coercive control, do not wait for the situation to worsen. Ziegler Law Group, LLC is here to help navigate the complexities of your case with compassion and expertise. Contact us today at 973-533-1100 for a confidential consultation and take the first step towards reclaiming your life and well-being.
