Often when you imagine someone being controlling and manipulative, you think of a person who raises their voice and makes grandiose gestures. Noise, after all, is often affiliated with abuse, as violence can be loud and overwhelming. However, not all abuse is yelling and screaming. Sometimes abuse is a quiet, almost imperceptible shift of power in a relationship gained through progression of psychological traumas. Known as coercive control, this kind of abusive can keep a person locked in a damaging relationship for months or years, and it can be just as damaging as physical abuse.
Key Takeaways
- Coercive control is a form of abuse that subtly erodes an individual’s sense of self through psychological manipulation, rather than through overt physical violence.
- Key indicators include threats, isolation from support networks, financial control, and gaslighting, all of which serve to maintain the abuser’s dominance and manipulate the victim.
- The consequences of coercive control can be severe, leading to health issues, emotional trauma, difficulties in future relationships, and a loss of self-confidence and independence.
About Coercive Control in Relationships
Coercive control is more than an unequal power dynamic; it’s someone gaining control of another indiviudal by chipping away at their sense of self. By using things like threats, humiliation, intimidation, and behavioral monitoring, coercive control draws a person away from what they love and who they are.
Research has also found that coercive control often precedes physical violence in relationships.
Coercive Control is Not Gendered
Although most people will assume that abusers are often men with women being the victim, that is not always the case. People of all genders can be abusive in relationships, whether that means physically or emotionally. Studies have found that 1 in 4 men and 1 in 3 women in the US have experienced a form of abuse. Furthermore, partner abuse is more often to occur in LGBTQ+ relationships when compared to heterosexual ones.
As such, it is more important to look for actions and behaviors that can be affiliated with abuse rather than looking at the appearance of the person. Anyone can be a victim.
Signs of Coercive Control
Signs of Coercive Control
Having learned a bit about coercive control, let’s look at some of the signs pointing to this form of abuse:
Threats
Abusers often use threats to instill fear and maintain control. These can include threats of physical harm, threats to expose personal information, or threats to harm loved ones or pets.
Isolation
Isolation involves cutting the victim off from friends, family, and support networks. The abuser may limit the victim’s social interactions, monitor their communications, and control their movements to ensure they remain dependent.
Financial Control
Abusers exert financial control by restricting the victim’s access to money, controlling their spending, and preventing them from working. This ensures the victim remains financially dependent and unable to leave the abusive situation.
Gaslighting
Gaslighting is a manipulative tactic where the abuser makes the victim doubt their reality, memory, or perceptions. By constantly lying, denying, or distorting the truth, the abuser undermines the victim’s confidence and sense of self, making them easier to control.
As you can see, coercive control is more than just yelling. While an abuser may yell at the victim and berate them, it is less about the volume and more about the psychological damage being inflicted at every turn. Coercive control can be whispered. It can be silent. To repeat, coercive control is a pattern of controlling and manipulative actions and behaviors, and so, it is far more than a loud voice.
The Impact of Coercive Control
Coercive control can have dire consequences for the abused. Any type of abuse can be damaging. Should coercive control be used on someone for any length of time, the following things may occur:
- Health consequences: In many cases of coercive control, the victim’s health is monitored and berated. Not only do individuals impacted by coercive control end up feeling the effects of stress, but they may lose a lot of weight and fall ill. Many serious health issues may occur.
- Emotional trauma: Anxiety and depression is common in victims of coercive control. Depending on the severity of the abuse, deep psychological wounds may be inflicted that take many years to heal.
- Difficulty with relationships in the future: Even if the situation ends, the impacts of the abuse do not. Victims may have trouble forming relationships with others long after the abuse is over.
- Loss of self-efficacy: Coercive control causes people to lose their sense of self-confidence and independence. Not only do many people feel trapped in their abusive relationship, but once they get out, they have to contend with the negative self-image another person planted in their brain.
How to End Coercive Control in a Relationship
Coercive control can be difficult to escape, but with a support group and assistance, you or the victim can break free. First, create a safety plan that includes steps for leaving the abuser, such as finding a safe place to stay, securing important documents, and having emergency contacts ready. Ensure that this plan is kept confidential and shared only with trusted individuals. Contact an organization that offers resources, such as the National Domestic Violence Hotline.
If you are in immediate danger, do not hesitate to contact local authorities. Law enforcement can provide immediate protection and assist in removing you from the abusive situation.
Even if you do not need law enforcement to aid you, it is recommended that you or the victim of abuse consult with a domestic violence lawyer. The lawyer can not only support the individual but also use the law to the victim’s advantage.
Contact Ziegler Law Group, LLC Today to Learn More
Coercive control is a subtle but severe form of abuse that erodes a person’s sense of self and autonomy. Unlike physical violence, it operates in the shadows, making it difficult to detect but equally harmful. Recognizing the signs, such as threats, isolation, financial control, and gaslighting, is crucial for addressing and overcoming this form of manipulation.
If you suspect that you or someone close to you is trapped in a cycle of coercive control, take action today. Ziegler Law Group, LLC is here to provide the knowledge and support necessary to navigate this complex issue. Reach out for a confidential consultation and explore your options for regaining control and safety. Contact us at 973-533-1100 today to schedule your free consultation.
