Being connected to the world gives people power and others who they can rely upon. That is something that domestic abusers do not want their victims to have, which is why they have tactics that isolate people. Breaking people down is easier when there is no one to rely upon. Understanding these isolation tactics and how abusers use isolation to cut victims off from support systems is key in not only identifying abuse but getting away from it before the situation becomes dire.
Key Takeaways
- Isolation is a key tactic in domestic abuse, used to control victims by severing their support systems.
- Psychological isolation involves gaslighting and guilt, making victims doubt their reality and feel responsible.
- Abusers cut off social ties, alienating victims from friends and family to increase dependency.
- Restricted communication allows abusers to monitor and control the victim’s interactions, deepening isolation.
- Financial isolation limits the victim’s autonomy, making them dependent and less able to leave the relationship.
What is Isolation in Domestic Abuse?
The Cambridge Dictionary offers two definitions of isolation:
- The condition of being alone, especially when this makes you unhappy.
- The fact that something is separate and not connected to other things.
For victims of abuse, both definitions hold true. Isolation is a surprisingly common tactic in physical and emotional abuse, as well as coercive control. Abusers need to isolate the victim. Otherwise, it becomes more difficult to control the person. There are two reasons for this. First, the abuser wants their victim to see them (or at least act like) as the center of the universe. If the victim has ways of devoting their attention to other things, then they can’t put all their time and energy into appeasing the abuser.
Secondly, isolating someone means taking away their sources of strength and hope. Having a friend who sees the abuse for what it is and calling it out will make the victim wary. No friend, no warning.
What are Some Isolation Tactics?
Isolation can happen through a number of tactics, each one as terrible as the next. Understanding these tactics can help you see them before the negative impacts are felt. Here are some of the most frequently used methods:
Psychological Isolation
A lot of abuse is psychological, making such mental strikes almost pivotal to an abuser’s ability to gain control. Abusers may gaslight their victims into thinking they are the ones who are the problem in the relationship. Meanwhile, the abuser grooms their friends and family with charm and positivity, reinforcing the illusion and thereby making their victim question their reality.
Abusers also use guilt and shame to make the victim feel guilt for their actions and behavior. They may threaten the victim with serious repercussions for acting out of line or for seeking help from friends and family.
Cutting Off Social Ties
Another key tactic is to cut the victim off from their social circles and family. The abuser will start this by suggesting that certain people are not trustworthy or that they are saying cruel things about them (or the victim). They may make false accusations about how the family feels about them, such as, “I don’t think your parents like me very much.” In turn, this makes the victim want to stick up for their partner or question how friends and family treat them.
In time, these suggestions will become more forceful, such as, “Your family doesn’t like me, so you stay away from them.” Insinuations become demands to separate from family and friends. The abuser may also forbid the victim from going out with friends or engaging in social activities. If the abuser is away, they may monitor their victim through the phone and social media then harass them nonstop if they find the victim has gone and met with people.
Restricted Communication
Monitoring and surveillance is a huge problem in abuse and yet another cause of isolation. Abusers have access to technologies that can keep tabs on their victim around the clock, every single day. This means tracking the victim’s movements throughout the house, what they eat, when they go to work, who they talk to on the phone, and even how they use their social media accounts. Some abusers may forbid their victim from ever using media without strict supervision.
By controlling communication and contact with the outside world, the abuser makes themselves the primary provider of social interaction. They also control all the information that flows in and out of the victim’s sphere, meaning the abuser can also distort whatever they want.
Financial Isolation
The next isolating tactic is gaining control of the victim’s finances. Without financial stability, victims become hesitant to make any risky moves. This is true for most people. Abusers will force the victim into a tight situation by withholding money, imposing a budget, preventing access to credit and debit cards, and even finding ways to sabotage the victim’s career. With the victim reliant on the abuser for funds, the abuser successfully cripples the victim’s autonomy.
How to Stop Isolation
These isolating tactics are often subtle and happen gradually. Those who are caught up in the web of isolation may not notice until it is too late. It is important to question your relationship, to take moments and ask yourself if something does not feel right. If you once relied on your family, why do they seem so distant now? If you notice that your partner has become overly critical or volatile when it comes to matters of your family, ask yourself if they are the cause.
If you notice these patterns, either in your own relationship or with a friend or family member, it is essential to make your concerns known. Isolation can have a deep and lasting impact on those who experience it, and it can be challenge to free oneself once the abuse has gone on for too long.
However, with an active support team and professional advocates, the victim can break out of the abusive cycle. It will take time and planning, but it is possible.
Contact an NJ Domestic Violence Attorney Today to Learn More
Isolation is a powerful tool used by abusers to control and manipulate their victims, making it difficult for them to seek help or escape. Recognizing the signs of isolation, such as psychological manipulation, cutting off social ties, restricting communication, and financial control, is crucial in identifying abusive behavior. If you or someone you know is experiencing isolation in a relationship, it’s important to take action before the situation escalates further.
At Ziegler Law Group, LLC, our experienced attorneys understand the complexities of domestic abuse and can provide the guidance and support needed to help you or a loved one break free. Contact us today at 973-533-1100 for a confidential consultation and take the first step toward reclaiming your life from the grip of abuse.
